Rate the following CASPer™ word question and see how YOU would measure up!
Word Question: Recall a group situation when the group did not do what you wanted.
Q1: Describe the situation.
A group of friends all went out to dinner, and even though I’m vegan and there are many restaurants in town that cater to my needs and non-vegetarians, the group opted to go to a Korean barbeque.
I even suggested another BBQ place that at least had some decent salads, but the group had its mind set. Rather than come off as preachy, I went along and ate before, but did not have a good time because of how strong the cooking and meat were the center of the event.
Q2: Why did the group not take your suggestion?
The group had heard great things about this new place, and didn’t want to wait until next weekend when I would have been out of town anyway. They said since I wasn’t going to eat, I didn’t have to pay, and could just eat before by myself. Even though it was a reasonable suggestion, I felt there were so many other options the group was being rather insensitive.
I spoke with many of them individually, asking if there were some resentment at my veganism, and this was perhaps a subconscious passive-aggressive way of addressing how it affects the group dynamic. The feedback I got was that it wasn’t and they just got caught up in the excitement of this new place. I took them at their word with a reminder that it would never be my intention to push my views on them, and they confirmed they knew that.
Q3: What would you have done differently?
I would have found out a bit more about Korean BBQ or the restaurant so I would know that it was not the place for me even if I didn’t eat. Then I would have politely declined to go, not being accusatory or difficult, but just make other plans, and go out with them another week.
That would have both indicated that I was an independent person and convey that I take this lifestyle choice seriously.
What you rate this response?
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